Dennis Box

Opera shines light on Mr. Fun Guy | COMMENTARY

"After careful and painstaking deliberation, I have decided it is time to disclose my secret identity that I have kept shrouded behind my newspaper editor facade. In real life, I am Mr. Fun Guy."

‘Awesomesauce’ says it all. I think. | COMMENTARY

"I read an article somewhere last week and learned I am far more out of touch with reality than my daughter Katy has led me to believe."

Resolving to make resolutions | COMMENTARY

Every year I make a New Year’s resolution to never make resolutions. R words like resolution, responsibility and reality make me limp.

Gift advice for husbands: Accept that you are rockheads | GUEST COMMENTARY

By special Christmas spirit request from all the goddesses in the office and Ms. Vegan, I will give my last-minute advice on buying gifts for girlfriends, wives and all those who make life worth living.

I’ll text the buttermilk recipe | COMMENTARY

I sense a move afoot to make me appear grouchy and less than Mr. Cool and up with the times.

You can’t whine if you don’t vote | COMMENTARY

So for all our kvetching it is best to remember, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars….”

Supreme Court levies $100,000 per day fine over education funding

The Court ruling stated the fine is to be placed into a “segregated account for the benefit of basic education.”

New verbals and nounettes to be considered for the dictionary | COMMENTARY

"As I scanned the list it occurred to me there are a number of words I know that for some reason are not in the Oxford dictionary."

Newspapers will last because there will always be stories to tell | COMMENTARY

"I believe newspapers will be around because of the story. The form a newspaper will take I don’t know, but the story is the thing."

County Council approves April property tax levy to replace emergency radio system

If approved, the April 28 levy lid lift will raise $273 million.

Feeling deflated? Keep your eyes on the skies for UFOs | COMMENTARY

"At first I thought he wanted to talk about a problem in his neighborhood or with some goofball city rule. It took me a moment to get it through my thick fog that he was talking about a UFO sighting."

Pocket girlfriend, you have my number | COMMENTARY

"Miraculously the magic light in my phone figured out where I was going and a woman in white began talking to me. I couldn’t believe it. I found a girlfriend in my shirt pocket."

Roger Maris never struck out in this kid’s eyes | GUEST COMMENTARY

"I’m not sure why Maris captivated me as a kid, rather than Mickey Mantle, Whitey Ford or countless other baseball players."

Call me an ol’ fogey, just don’t call me late for haying! | COMMENTARY

"Since I have suddenly slipped down the slobbery slope of fogeydom, I will now embrace it."

I’ll bet hairball Hal dialed that number… | COMMENTARY

"I was tipped off to the plot when my boneheaded phone made a call, for no apparent reason. This wasn’t the first time and I never know to whom or when it will strike."

Darwin says I am in charge, not Yodie the Yorkie | COMMENTARY

"Every time Yodie comes to terrorize me for a week or two, the first thing I do is show her Darwin’s book, multiple times. She apparently doesn’t read very well."

All of life’s puzzles solved with cheese | COMMENTARY

After spending the past several weeks watching political Kabuki kooks find ways to be silly and not govern, I needed some relief.

Goofy apps leave me speechless | COMMENTARY

My daughter, Katy, exercises her free speech on me all the time. I never knew I was such a dumbwad until she learned to free speech me when she was two. Now I get free speeched all the time.

Let’s be clear: Try your best to not say what you mean | COMMENTARY

I have always been fascinated by words and usage. I can often tell what a speaker or writer doesn’t want me to know by the duck-and-dodge words and usage.

Kindergarten/Politics 101:Don;t promise what you can’t deliver | COMMENTARY

Voters would be best served if they know what an official can do and what they should not promise.