Doug Scholl can identify with parents of the young children who were killed in last week’s shootings in Newtown, Conn.

Like them, he will spend his first Christmas without his child, Jessica Scholl, who, prosecutors charge, was murdered in May by her former boyfriend, Jarod Lane.

“It has been really tough watching the TV,” said Doug Scholl of Renton. “I feel really bad for those parents in Connecticut.”

This month marks a particularly difficult season for Doug and Stephanie Scholl, Jessica’s parents. What would have been happy occasions, their wedding anniversary on Dec. 23 and Jessica’s birthday on Dec. 28, are touched by sadness.

So to celebrate what would have been Jessica’s 18th birthday, family and friends have organized a special vigil from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Dec. 28 at Gene Coulon Memorial Beach Park. They will light Japanese lanterns with lotus flowers and tea lights in her honor near the swimming area.

“We think about what Jessica would want us to be doing and we just can’t not move forward because that’s not what she would want,” said Stephanie Scholl.

Originally Jessica’s mother had planned to do something just with the family, but decided to plan something bigger to include friends, who wanted to do something also.

The event is open to the public.

“Instead of looking at the horrible events that took place in May, we really wanted to celebrate Jessica,” said Stephanie Scholl.

This holiday season the mother calls quite stressful and said the family’s journey has been very difficult.

The Scholls are in the midst of trying to rebuild their house. After Jessica was killed in May, Lane set fire to the Scholls’ home, prosecutors allege. The insurance company agreed to pay for the house to be repaired but not rebuilt from the ground up as the parents wished.

The biohazard that existed after the incident was cleaned up, but the issue was greater than that, Stephanie Scholl said.

The water the fire department used to put out the fire helped move the blood farther into the structure of the house, she said.

The insurance company just wanted to paint over it and “we didn’t want to live in a house where her blood was still (present),” she said. “People on the outside don’t grasp all of that.”

Now the Scholls are using their personal money to cover what the insurance company won’t to rebuild their home.

“I wanted to be home by Christmas, but people don’t care the way I care,” said Doug Scholl about his frustrations with the building process.

The Scholls are living at a relative’s house south of Renton. They had hoped to have walls up and a foundation on the property by winter, where their house used to sit. It’s been torn down.

“We don’t even have the building permit,” said Stephanie Scholl.

The Scholls are having to navigate the bureaucracy of permits, subcontractor certifications and unexpected obstacles as they go along. On top of that, they still have to pay their mortgage on a house that doesn’t exist anymore.

The Scholls want to be able to live in the neighborhood they’ve called home for the past 15 years and not be reminded of the tragedy that befell their family in the exact same structure. They want a new floor plan and a clean environment.

To help them with that endeavor, friends have set up a charity website.

There was also a benevolent fund set up in Jessica Scholl’s name.

Neither of the parents monitors the growth of the charity fund, as they aren’t really used to receiving support like that.

“We were hoping to not use that money to rebuild our house,” said Stephanie Scholl of the benevolent fund in her daughter’s name. “We wanted to further the cause of this not happening again.”

But the Scholls have been able to do teen domestic violence advocacy work. They had their Renton Police Department advocate, Tina Harris, do a presentation for students at Lindbergh High School, where Jessica was a student.

“We would like to express our gratitude to the Renton Police Department and the Renton community,” said Stephanie Scholl. “I never in my wildest dreams would have expected the amount of support from everyone.”

For now, the court trial-setting for Lane has been continued to take place in February. The Scholls were told the case would take a year or two to go to trial.

The wait is worth it, says Stephanie Scholl, because they don’t want to end up with an appeal. They want Lane put away forever and to be done with it.

Although this Christmas season has been tough, the Scholls have put up some decorations where they’re living and done some shopping. Both parents are reflective on how much care and support the community has shown them.

“It’s amazing how many neighbors we didn’t know who came out and showed support,” said Doug Scholl.

Stephanie echoes her husband’s sentiments.

“The lives that she (Jessica) touched in the short time that she was here, it’s really amazing and humbling,” she said. “It’s proven by the outpouring of support.”

How to help the Scholl family

A donations website has been created to help the Scholls rebuild their home.